![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
[action/written]
Another one gone. It hadn't been that long since the neighbour of the person she went to see went away too, about four months time, really.
The scene was the same: no one living in the room anymore, no clothes strewn around, no messy bed... no Roy. Cloche had gone over with some (kind of terrible-looking) food she had made in a basket, maybe thinking to sit outside for a little while with him.
But when she got there and the door was open already...
The basket dropped to the floor, and Cloche would again sit in the room formerly occupied by someone dear to her and cry.
[action]
[After gathering up the food that had spilled in front of Roy's old room in CH4, Cloche might be seen zombie-walking back to her room in CH5, loosely holding a basket full of food. It definitely doesn't look all that great now. To anyone who looks closely, Cloche's eyes are red and puffy, and she's prone to bursts of tears.]
[Written]
[After some time in her room, she'll finally muster up the ability to write something. Speaking about it is too hard right now.]
Roy has gone home to Falena.
[And after a pause in writing:]
If you were in his drama group, and would still like to be, please let me know. I'll try to keep it up as long as I can.
[action]
[action]
[And brought to her for the same reason. Sigh.
To get her mind off of it, she'll grab plates, forks, and a knife over to the table, and sit. After a moment, she'll finally speak up:]
...Rin?
[action]
[action]
[Any tears she may have been attempting to hold back are... no long doing what she'd like.]
[action]
Oi, I'm here now.
[action]
Cloche moves her head, and then looks at him, eye to eye.]
But... but that doesn't answer my question! I know you're here now, but.. but what if you're not tomorrow...?!
[action]
...Che. Dammit, Yukio. He grits his teeth and then resolves himself. He tries to focus and. What would he do? He'd handle it, but how would this happen. After all, this is someone else being hurt by him leaving. He's not sure how to confront that, because he wants to go home. but]
Then... I'd be gone, and back home. It's where I oughta be, and everyone here oughta be back home, you know?
[action]
[action]
[What does he say to this? She's shouting and crying and generally being a mess. He goes to put a hand on her. He's not sure how to-]
Yeah, everyone should go back at once, it'd be best. But you can't wish people aren't vanishing. It's back to where they oughta be for 'em.
[action]
[action]
...]
Oi, what do you mean, cursed?
[action]
After a few minutes of debating with herself - did she tell Rin? Did she have that level of trust? - She'll turn back to him, looking grim.]
I am Cloche Leythal Pastalia, Thirty-Third Holy Maiden of the Grand Bell. The only one believed to be directly descended from the Goddess herself, and the one most precious life in Metafalss. Or so I've been told. I was raised being told that I was the only one who could save all of Metafalss and its people, locked away in the Grand Bell Palace for at least eleven years. I cannot have friends. I cannot have anyone close to talk to. I cannot fall in love. If I were to do so, and not share my love with everyone in Metafalss, it causes problems and jealousy.
But here. Here in this prison, I'm more free than I ever have been, even now in my homeworld. I can make friends, talk with people, and I can walk freely without escort. But when my friends leave, the people I love, the people I've come to cherish... it's like being in the cage of the Grand Bell all over again. People were imprisoned for talking to me so freely there, and here it's the same. I want the people I love here to stay, so we can all say our final goodbyes when we all leave together. I don't want to leave here if I would make someone sad because I have left.
[action]
"Locked away in the Grand Bell Palace for at least eleven years."
He grits his teeth.
"I cannot have friends. I cannot have anyone close to talk to."
He starts to tremble, with both the weight of what she's telling him and a fury welling up inside of him. His hands also ball into fists.
"I cannot fall in love. If I were to do so, and not share my love with everyone in Metafalss."
At that point, trembling and gritting his teeth, be barely hears the whole rest of what she says. She's clearly bearing her soul to him, but he can't even hear it right now. His eyes are burning, and he feels the indignation wheeling up inside of him too. To think he brought her something to eat... the pie's on the table, but the manga, still on his arm, now falls to the floor. Why? The handle of the bag it was in lights up with blue fire he's not controlling perfectly as he flares up around his shoulders.
And as soon as she's done talking, he stands]
That's stupid, Cloche! All of that,the Holy Maiden and the locked up and the rest of that is just stupid! [His flames are reigned in, but you can see the anger burning in his eyes] Can't share you love?! Can't have friends?! What sort of bullshit is that?! Why would someone who doesn't have friends and family and love want to save the world?! How can you go 'round loving everyone enough to make some sacrifices or whatever like that without knowing what you're missing?!
[And he raises a fist] Locked up?! That's disgusting!
[action]
When he's done, she'll open her eyes once again, leveling them on him. A smile takes form, and after a moment, in a crackling voice, she'll reply:]
Because when I see how hard everyone else tries for a better world, for Metafalica, I want to help them. I want to give them the world they've been dreaming of for hundreds of years. Everyone works so hard to do so, in their own way, to create their perfect world. I want to help them in that if I can, I want to sing Metafalica and give everyone more land. I don't want to lose any more than we have already. If a sacrifice like that helps everyone, even if I never agreed with the Grand Bell policies, then I'll do it. Seeing everyone's smiling faces when the land is reborn is what I've been striving for since I was young. If I stopped now, what would it accomplish?
I've sneaked out on more than one occasion, and seeing the lives of everyone in Pastalia, in the Slums, even in the farthest reaches of the Rim, how everyone tries is what drives me. But if that's what it takes, then I'm willing to do it. Even if these are things I want so badly. I've made more than enough friends in my trials at home, but it's still hard. I go against how I was taught, and part of me thinks it's wrong. I want to be the person that everyone looks up to and cheers on, knowing that I do everything for them. But I want to be a regular girl too. I don't know how to be. Touma, he... told me I should do things for myself. I've been trying to. But when this happens, when I think it's all right, this happens. And then I know I have to be cursed.
[Her voice cracks more, prompting her to stop.]
[action]
[That speech... had him at a loss. So he's just shouting this, trying to have some ground to stand on here]
[action]
[action]
[action]
[action]
[action]
And then they'll all leave! Like everyone always does! I want to be friends too, but I don't want to constantly be sad because they've gone and left me! Why... why don't you understand that...?!
1/2
[Happened Tomorrow...]
-And I'm no good at this either, you know?! I've not had friends 'til very recently! 'Til I got the classmates at the cram school! [...] But I don't think friends are something you oughta be down about because of some stupid made up curse!
[...And now he notices that he's lifted her by the neck off her feet. It's so easy. He's strong and she's... fragile. He lets go, steps back apologetically. He's projecting]
[action]
[action]
But once she's let go, Cloche will touch her hand to her throat, taking deep breaths, and just... looking at Rin. That was something she wasn't expecting from him. Ever.]
I'm the exact same...! [cough] Until false land was created, I had no way out. No friends. But we're... obviously different. You... had the ability to make friends at any time though... didn't you? But that's... that's why I want to leave all at once. No one will have to be sad.
[She's silent at the idea that he might be away from his brother, giving him a look of "That's the feeling I have right now and at all times."]
[action]
But he can't stop here. He sits, hanging his head] 'Ve been strong ever since I was small. Too strong... and I got a temper. [As you just saw...]
Long before I got this tail, I had people calling me a demon. I got in fights all the time. It was stupid - I was stupid. 'Course I didn't get close to no one other than my family.
[action]
[She's had this conversation with him before; she told him to stay Rin and don't become anything he isn't. A temper flaring isn't quite that, she's fairly certain. ]
...we're not that different. But why is it that you feel so different about all of this? I don't understand it.
[action]
[action]
[action]
[action]
[action]
[action]
[action]